9 Months of Marriage

As I write this post, it’s been almost 9 months since Daniel and I got married. That seems so crazy because we still find it weird to call each other husband and wife, but alas–we love marriage! So I want to try to put into words all the emotions of the infamous “wedding week.”

I was taking summer classes so my wedding week was mostly just Thursday, Friday, and then the wedding Saturday. Thursday I skipped class (I felt if any situation called for it-this would be it) and my mom and I situated the flowers and other minor details. Thursday evening my father in law and Daniel’s cousin came in from Oregon. We went to eat pho with them and spend time as we hadn’t seen them in 3 years!
Friday was chaotic, crazy, humbling, and magical all at the same time. My parents took off from work, Daniel’s parents took off from work, my friend’s, family friends and relatives all helped set up the reception hall and church. It was truly a “village” affair and it was so humbling to see so many friends and family giving their time to help us prepare for our wedding.

Later that day was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. There was a wreck that clogged up the main road to the church. For this reason almost everyone was late to the rehearsal. I was so nervous and shaking during the entire rehearsal. I could not believe that the day I had waited 4 years for ( I knew I wanted to marry Daniel early on!) was TOMORROW! Also the reality of “til death do us part” was sinking in-it took a while! For the rehearsal dinner we ate at a famous local Southern food restaurant called AQ Chicken. Then we went back to the hotel where Daniel’s family was staying because his grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousin had come in from Texas and Connecticut. So thoughtful! Once we met them his grandma (whom I had never met) immediately began measuring me with her measuring tape (boobs, hips, butt–you name it, she measured it!) for the Lao wedding dress I would wear two months later at our Lao wedding. Needless to say we got to know each other pretty well!

Saturday morning one of my bridesmaid’s mothers had a brunch for me, my mom, grandma, aunts, bridesmaids, and friends. It was overcast and rainy that morning, but barely drizzly. I remember hoping that the sun would come out! We enjoyed having brunch and mimosas together celebrating the beautiful wedding day. After I headed to the salon with one of my bridesmaids. I had one of my hair dresser friends do my hair at her salon. We had done a run-through the week before, so I wasn’t too worried. My mom met me at the salon later and took me to her house. All I remember there is that I was so nervous I couldn’t eat anything after brunch and that her tv wasn’t working so I had nothing to occupy my mind. The nerves were just ruminating. After what felt like hours we went to my apartment and I grabbed a few last minute items and we headed to the church. Once at the church I knew that this was not a dream– this really was my wedding day. All my bridesmaids were already there doing hair and make up. After getting my make up done by Allyson, my bridesmaid, I got into my dress with the help of my mom. Then Daniel and I did first-look photos where we cried like babies. Better than crying like babies in the church where everyone could see. We took some more photos with our wedding party. It was so windy that day, but the sun finally came out and it was a beautiful day.

After getting back to the bride’s room my bridesmaids and I just tried to soak in the moment and joke around. I’m so happy I had my best friends close for that special time. Then my favorite priest ever- who was celebrating our wedding Mass- came in and prayed with us. Moments later my bridesmaids left to process into the church and I was left alone. I couldn’t believe I was about to walk down the aisle and marry my best friend and partner in crime. My dad came in and got all teary-eyed. Once we were approaching the aisle everything was like a daze. I was weak from not being able to eat and my dad said he kept feeling me leaning on him. The whole time I was walking down the aisle I just kept staring at Jesus on the Cross and praying for Daniel and I as we embarked on this journey of marriage. Once my arm was joined with Daniel’s I was no longer nervous. Fr. John had asked us to give him a list of the 3 things we loved most about the other. I said 1) his beautiful brown eyes and spiky black hair 2) that he beats me in tennis sometimes and that I beat him in tennis sometimes 3) just the person he is- his caring nature. I’ll have to get Daniel’s later! We both cried as we exchanged vows just realizing how much we really love each other. We had so much fun dancing at our reception with great friends and family. We felt so loved and humbled. My aunt made the wedding cake and the groom’s cake (salmon roe w wasabi and ginger). They were delicious and looked amazing. At the end of the reception we had a limo to take us and our bridal party home. We wanted to stop at Mcdonalds but the line was too long. Daniel and I were exhausted by the time we got I our room at James at the Mill. We couldn’t believe we were finally married. All the weeks of preparation and stress of planning a wedding was over and we were finally beginning our journey together. The next day we played tennis with his cousins and ate dinner with his dad followed by ice cream at Braums. Those were the longest, but most rich 3 days ever. I still can’t believe we’re married sometimes. 9 months has gone by so fast!






everyday life, husbandy

Birthday Fest!

This week was basically a non-stop celebration for the love of my life’s birthday. We kicked it off with some Korean BBQ and sushi at a local restaurant with his family. Then for his “real” birthday we celebrated with great friends at another local sushi restaurant. Later we got some delicious drinks at Theo’s. Yesterday we drove to Kansas City where there is a ski resort nearby. Crazy, huh? The snow was pretty slushy and melting but it was Daniel’s first time to ski so he didn’t mind. He did great and got up every time he fell. What a trooper! We went to one of our favorite KC restaurants, Cafe Trio, for dinner and it did not disappoint. This morning we hit up EggsTC for a local breakfast. It was okay–we say 7 of 10 stars. Tonight we’ll round out his birthday celebration with a Chinese acrobatics show at the Walton Arts Center. Overall it’s been a wonderful week to celebrate a wonderful husband.




faith, love

John Legend and a hint of Theology of the Body

What makes us cry at the sight of a proposal or tear up during the exchange of vows at a wedding? What is it about love that speaks to our soul? The pure sacrificial nature of marriage is something that goes against our very nature.  We’re born with an instinct to survive and to watch out for our own well-being even if it’s at the expense of others. And we fight this instinct our whole life.  Dating and courtship involve getting to know the other person and finding in oneself a deep concern for the well-being of the other person. 

Fighting the instinct that wants everything to be about yourself to the point where you consider the other person in everything–this is the beginning of a true relationship.  Suddenly the instinct becomes flipped on its head.  The instinct which once led you to look out for yourself at all costs has been replaced with caring for another person, even if it costs, to the point of self sacrifice.  The pinnacle of this sacrifice culminates at the exchange of vows during the wedding. 

This first sign of self sacrifice is shown when the man gets down on one knee to propose marriage to his love. This gesture is a physical manifestation of putting himself at the feet of his soon-to-be bride.  He is preparing himself to serve her for the rest of his life.  The woman makes this self-sacrificing gesture when she walks down the aisle on her wedding day.  Her trip down the aisle, led by her father, is a journey to serve, to go where she has not been, to leave what she has known her whole life and place her trust and confidence in her love.  

Recently I heard the song “All of Me” by John Legend.  Listening to the lyrics, I couldn’t help but think of the Theology of the Body.  The essence of love is not that we get what we want, but that we give– even what we do not want.  We give, we serve, we sacrifice.  We know our spouse’s flaws and weaknesses and accept them.  The lyrics that most struck me were:

My head’s underwater, but I’m breathing fine

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

Cause all of me loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you…

Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you

Instead of singing about using our partner, Legend sings about loving everything about this person.  Truly investing in them with our whole being and receiving everything they are–especially their perfect imperfections. A refreshing song about the sacrificial nature of love and marriage.


I think I’m married to a Pokemon addict

Evidence I’m married to a Pokemon addict:

1) He’s in his early 20s and asks for Pokemon games and Nintendo console covers for Christmas (not a tie, not a watch, not candy–just game stuff

2) My 11 yr old cousin is playing the same game in her Nintendo DS

3) He stays up late at night to watch tv, eat snacks, drink beer, play pokemon

4) At one point he had two Ninetendo DS consoles on so he could “trade”…whatever that is

5) He plays Pokemon with his tablet on so he can look up moves or health or something…I have no idea

6) I hide the Nintendo DS periodically so we can get housework done or talk to each other…it’s the simple things

7) When I move the DS from its “normal” location he freaks out until he finds it. Sometime fun to time him 🙂

8) On the plus side, I always have gift ideas (Pokemon game, Pokedex, other Pokemon games)